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My daughter is obsessed with Snoopy. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to hunt down Starbucks’ new viral cup.

Woman holding Snoope Starbucjs cup
Charlotte Mandrier bought the Snoopy cup for her daughter
  • Charlotte Mandrier’s 9-year-old daughter has a deep love of Peanuts and Snoopy.
  • Mandrier’s daughter watches “The Great Pumpkin” year-round and listens to its soundtrack.
  • With her birthday days away, Mandrier secretly hunted down the new Starbucks collection.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Charlotte Mandrier. It has been edited for length and clarity.

On Monday, September 14, I was cleaning up my inbox and deleting emails when I saw that Starbucks was collaborating with the Peanuts brand to sell merchandise inspired by “The Great Pumpkin.”

I remembered last year when Starbucks released a small number of bear cups. My daughter, who is 9, had wanted one but hadn’t managed to get hold of one. She was so disappointed.

She clearly hadn’t known about the Snoopy cups that were going on sale, or I would have heard about it from her. She is obsessed with Peanuts, Snoopy, and “The Great Pumpkin.”

She watches the movie all year long

As an autistic person, she has a special interest in Peanuts, specifically “The Great Pumpkin.” She watches it all year long, even though it is a very fall movie. She listens to the music from the film’s soundtrack. She was born in Santa Rosa, where the museum commemorating Charles Schulz — the cartoonist who created the Peanuts comic — is located. When she was little, she went to a camp at the museum and learned to ice skate at Snoopy’s Home Ice next door. She even looks like Linus. She loves everything about this brand.

Girl holding cupcake
Charlotte Mandrier’s daughter loves everything related to Peanuts.

As it happened, her birthday is in two days. So when I saw that these limited-edition Snoopy cups and other merchandise celebrating the movie would be on sale, I told my husband I was going to try to get one for her.

I woke up in the middle of the night

I set my alarm for Tuesday morning at 3:30 a.m., quietly sneaking out of the house to arrive at our closest Starbucks in downtown Chevy Chase at 4 a.m., when it opens.

Girls posing with Peanuts characters
Charlotte Mandrier wants to surprise her daughter with her Snoopy Starbucks cup.

Walking six blocks to get there, I only saw one other woman on the street. It turned out she was going to the same Starbucks to wait in line, too.

When I got there, no one was in line yet, and I felt so relieved. I had imagined that there would already be a huge line, with people hoping to take all the stock to resell it later.

I suppose that since it was a fairly commercial area, rather than a residential area, people didn’t think to go there to get the merchandise.

Slowly, others arrived. There were three of us waiting for the merchandise, and three regulars who were just there to get their coffee.

Starbucks merch
Charlotte Mandrier only saw about 10 Snoopy cups at her local Starbucks.

Although they were meant to open the doors at 4 a.m., apparently, there was a staffing issue, and they didn’t open until 5 a.m. The regulars said that it wasn’t normal for the shop to open late.

The lights were on, but we couldn’t see anyone inside. We tried knocking because we weren’t sure if someone was there, and just didn’t know we were waiting. We were desperate to get the good stuff.

There were about 10 Snoopy cups

While we waited, I used my phone to take photos of the merchandise and count how many cups were available. I could see about 10.

Then someone finally unlocked and opened the doors for us. Once I got in, I bought a Snoopy cup, a tote bag, a keychain, a mug, and some pins. It came to about $200.

Starbucks Snoopy collection
Charlotte Mandrier spent $200 in Starbucks merchandise for her daughter.

One of the regulars who was there got swept up in the hype and got a cup, even though it wasn’t why she’d come.

It was incredibly exciting that I had managed to get the stuff. I was so excited, imagining my daughter’s face in two days when she opens her birthday presents.

Sneaking back into the house at 5:30 a.m. and hiding it all away, I pretended I had just woken up.

As soon as she sees on YouTube that these cups were for sale, I know she’ll be disappointed, thinking that, like last year, she missed out. I’ll give an Oscar-winning performance, telling her I wish we could have gotten there sooner, and maybe we can look for Snoopy cups that people are selling online.

And then, in two days, I’ll give her all the Peanuts presents. I really cannot wait.

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Oracle CFO says ‘doing more with less’ isn’t the answer in all-hands after layoffs

Oracle
  • Oracle doesn’t want employees “doing more with less,” its CFO said in an all-hands meeting on Tuesday.
  • The remarks came a day after Oracle began a new round of layoffs.
  • The cuts were aimed at reducing payroll as Oracle racks up billions in debt to fund infrastructure.

Oracle’s new finance chief used her first companywide meeting to deliver a message to employees: Oracle doesn’t want them “doing more with less.”

Chief Financial Officer Hilary Maxson told employees on Tuesday they should be proud of the company’s financial results and protect that success as the company grows, according to a recording reviewed by Business Insider.

The remarks came a day after Oracle began a new round of layoffs, following cuts earlier this year. The company’s workforce declined by 21,000, or 13%, in the 2026 fiscal year that ended May 31, according to a recent filing.

“This means being thoughtful about where we spend our time and money,” Maxson said. “I don’t mean doing more with less, which is a phrase that I really, really don’t like. It means simplifying processes that don’t help customers and making clear choices on where we’re going to use our resources where they have the greatest impact.”

Maxson’s remarks highlight one of the central challenges facing Oracle and its peers: investing aggressively in AI while maintaining financial discipline. Oracle has racked up tens of billions of dollars in debt as it expands its data centers and AI infrastructure. The latest workforce cuts are intended to reduce payroll to offset those costs, according to a person familiar with the strategy.

Oracle reported $28.5 billion in first-quarter capital expenditures, up from $8.5 billion a year earlier, and maintained its fiscal 2027 capital expenditure forecast at $90 billion to $95 billion.

Neither Maxson nor other executives addressed the layoffs directly during the roughly hourlong town hall. Instead, they repeatedly emphasized growth, customer demand, and the opportunities created by artificial intelligence.

“I’d ask you to keep asking a very simple question: How does the work that I’m doing help deliver a better outcome for a customer?” Co-CEO Mike Sicilia said, suggesting a mantra as Oracle starts its second quarter. “There’s a lot of change around this, a lot going on in the world, and in moments like this, how we work together and how we show up for our customers and for each other matters most.”

Have a tip? Contact this reporter via email at astewart@businessinsider.com or Signal at +1-425-344-8242. Use a personal email address and a nonwork device; here’s our guide to sharing information securely.

Read the original article on Business Insider

The 15 countries with the highest life expectancies — and the 15 with the lowest

Visitors sit and stand among historic cannons overlooking a sunlit hillside city and harbor.
Monaco has the highest life expectancy in the world.
  • The World Bank Group ranked life expectancy in different countries around the world.
  • High mortality among infants and children significantly lowers the life expectancy at birth.
  • Monaco and San Marino had the highest life expectancies, while Nigeria and Chad had the lowest.

Jeanne Calment was the oldest verified person to have ever lived, passing away at 122.

Despite Calment’s extraordinary longevity, her home country, France, ranks 19th in the world for average life expectancy.

The World Bank Group collected data on life expectancy at birth by country through 2024. Life expectancy at birth is the average number of years a newborn is expected to live if mortality patterns remain the same throughout their life.

The countries ranked highest tend to be wealthier, with robust healthcare systems and lower rates of early-life mortality.

Meanwhile, the countries with the lowest life expectancy are all located in Africa, which often faces disease, malnutrition, and conflict. High mortality among infants and children and healthcare shortages on the continent significantly lower the life expectancy at birth.

The US ranked 47th in the dataset, with an average life expectancy of 78.9 years.

The World Bank Group used statistics from sources such as the United Nations and national statistical office databases. Business Insider did not include autonomous regions and territories listed in the data.

The average life expectancy estimates for 2024 are based on data interpolated across five-year periods, so they may not reflect events that occurred in that year and affected mortality rates, such as a conflict or famine.

See the 15 countries with the highest life expectancy, followed by the 15 with the lowest.

13. (tie) Norway’s average life expectancy is 83.2 years.
Sailboats and crowds fill Oslo's sunny waterfront harbor beneath a blue sky and city skyline.
Oslo, Norway.

Average female life expectancy: 84.8

Average male life expectancy: 81.6

13. (tie) Luxembourg’s average life expectancy is 83.2.
Luxembourg flag flies above a green park and historic city skyline with church spires.
Luxembourg City, Luxembourg.

Average female life expectancy: 85.5

Average male life expectancy: 81.0

13. (tie) Israel’s average life expectancy is 83.2.
Aerial view of a coastal city skyline with high-rise buildings, beachfront parks, roads, and turquoise water.
Tel Aviv, Israel.

Average female life expectancy: 85.4

Average male life expectancy: 81.1

12. Singapore’s average life expectancy is 83.3 years.
Singapore skyline with the Singapore Flyer, Marina Bay waterfront, bridge, and Gardens by the Bay greenery under a cloudy sky.
Singapore is a city-state.

Average female life expectancy: 85.6

Average male life expectancy: 81.2

11. South Korea’s average life expectancy is 83.6 years.
Seoul skyline at sunset with N Seoul Tower rising from a central hill above dense high-rise buildings.
Seoul, South Korea.

Average female life expectancy: 86.6

Average male life expectancy: 80.8

10. Spain’s average life expectancy is 83.9 years.
Gran Vía cityscape in Madrid with the Metrópolis Building, Edificio Telefónica, traffic, and dramatic clouds.
Madrid, Spain.

Average female life expectancy: 86.5

Average male life expectancy: 81.4

8. (tie) Italy’s average life expectancy is 84.0 years.
Rome skyline with historic domes, the Vittoriano monument, trees, and distant mountains under a partly cloudy sky.
Rome, Italy.

Average female life expectancy: 86.0

Average male life expectancy: 82.0

8. (tie) Japan’s average life expectancy is 84.0 years.
Tokyo skyline at sunset with illuminated Tokyo Tower and Mount Fuji rising in the background.
Tokyo, Japan.

Average female life expectancy: 87.1

Average male life expectancy: 81.1

7. Sweden’s average life expectancy is 84.1 years.
Aerial view of central Stockholm with Gamla Stan rooftops, church spires, waterfront, and Stockholm City Hall.
Stockholm, Sweden.

Average female life expectancy: 85.6

Average male life expectancy: 82.6

5. (tie) Andorra’s average life expectancy is 84.2 years.
Dense town buildings fill a green mountain valley beneath steep rocky slopes and a cloudy sky.
Andorra la Vella, Andorra.

Average female life expectancy: 86.2

Average male life expectancy: 82.3

5. (tie) Liechtenstein’s average life expectancy is 84.2 years.
Aerial view of a town with homes, roads, green fields, and forested mountains rising in the background.
Vaduz, Liechtenstein.

Average female life expectancy: 86.3

Average male life expectancy: 82.2

4. Switzerland’s average life expectancy is 84.4 years.
Waterfront buildings and moored sailboats line a blue lake with a yellow boat and snow-capped mountain behind.
Geneva, Switzerland.

Average female life expectancy: 86.2

Average male life expectancy: 82.7

3. Kuwait’s average life expectancy is 84.6 years.
Kuwait Towers rise above Kuwait City’s waterfront skyline during a golden sunset.
Kuwait City, Kuwait.

Average female life expectancy: 85.4

Average male life expectancy: 83.8

2. San Marino’s average life expectancy is 85.8 years.
Rolling green countryside surrounds a red-roofed hillside town under a cloudy sky.
San Marino is a small country surrounded by Italy.

Average female life expectancy: 87.2

Average male life expectancy: 84.3

1. Monaco’s average life expectancy is 86.5 years.
Coastal Monaco cityscape with high-rise buildings, marina, mountains, and blue Mediterranean water under a clear sky.
Monte Carlo, Monaco

Average female life expectancy: 88.6

Average male life expectancy: 84.6

15. On the lower end, Nauru’s average life expectancy is 62.3 years.
Ocean waves break against a harbor breakwater and rocky shoreline beneath a cloudy blue sky.
Anibare in the tiny island nation of Nauru.

Average female life expectancy: 64.2

Average male life expectancy: 60.4

14. Côte d’Ivoire’s average life expectancy is 62.1 years.
Domed basilica with colonnades stands across a wide paved plaza beneath a partly cloudy blue sky.
Yamoussoukro, Côte d’Ivoire.

Average female life expectancy: 64.3

Average male life expectancy: 60.2

13. The Democratic Republic of the Congo’s average life expectancy is 62.1 years.
Elevated view of a broad urban boulevard with traffic, high-rises, billboards, and a hazy skyline.
Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Average female life expectancy: 64.2

Average male life expectancy: 60.0

12. Sierra Leone’s average life expectancy is 62.0 years.
Dense waterfront city buildings sit below green hills with communication towers under a clear blue sky.
Freetown, Sierra Leone.

Average female life expectancy: 63.7

Average male life expectancy: 60.2

11. Niger’s average life expectancy is 61.4 years.
Urban skyline and mid-rise buildings rise beyond dense green trees under a hazy blue sky.
Niamey, Niger.

Average female life expectancy: 62.4

Average male life expectancy: 60.5

10. Burkina Faso’s average life expectancy is 61.3 years.
Mud-brick buildings and small shelters line a calm waterway under a clear blue sky.
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.

Average female life expectancy: 63.4

Average male life expectancy: 59.1

9. Benin’s average life expectancy is 61.0 years.
Weathered historic building stands beside a mosque with minarets on a quiet street crossed by overhead wires.
Porto-Novo, Benin.

Average female life expectancy: 62.4

Average male life expectancy: 59.5

8. Guinea’s average life expectancy is 60.9 years.
Aerial view of a coastal city with port facilities, docks, warehouses, cranes, and vessels along the waterfront.
Conakry, Guinea.

Average female life expectancy: 62.1

Average male life expectancy: 59.7

7. Mali’s average life expectancy is 60.7 years.
Aerial view of a dense low-rise city district with industrial storage tanks and water visible in the distance.
Bamako, Mali.

Average female life expectancy: 62.2

Average male life expectancy: 59.3

6. Somalia’s average life expectancy is 59.0 years.
Aerial view of a crowded urban beach with turquoise coastal water, anchored boats, and dense city buildings.

Average female life expectancy: 61.6

Average male life expectancy: 56.5

5. Lesotho’s average life expectancy is 57.8 years.
Aerial view of a town with roads, buildings, green fields, and distant hills under a hazy sky.
Maseru, Lesotho.

Average female life expectancy: 60.4

Average male life expectancy: 55.0

3. (tie) South Sudan’s average life expectancy is 57.7 years.
Aerial view of a sprawling low-rise urban neighborhood with dusty roads, walled compounds, trees, and scattered larger buildings.
Juba, South Sudan.

Average female life expectancy: 60.7

Average male life expectancy: 54.8

3. (tie) The Central African Republic’s average life expectancy is 57.7 years.
Brick church with twin towers faces a plaza with cars, pedestrians, and a motorcycle in front.
Bangui, Central African Republic.

Average female life expectancy: 59.6

Average male life expectancy: 55.5

2. Chad’s average life expectancy is 55.2 years.
Aerial view of an arid town with dense buildings, roads, scattered trees, and a large dark pond.
N’Djamena, Chad.

Average female life expectancy: 57.2

Average male life expectancy: 53.4

1. Nigeria’s average life expectancy is 54.6 years.
Aerial view of a sprawling city with residential neighborhoods, roads, greenery, and hazy skyline in the distance.
Abuja, Nigeria.

Average female life expectancy: 54.9

Average male life expectancy: 54.3

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Apple’s iOS 27 lets parents police more of what kids do on their iPhones

A child looks at an iPhone with a black phone case.
Apple’s latest software update gives parents some new controls over their children’s phones.
  • Your iPhone’s brain may be getting a big, AI-led upgrade.
  • Apple says it’s also making parenting in the digital age easier.
  • An independent analyst said he welcomes the updates — but said kids may still find loopholes.

There are new ways to set boundaries on your kids’ iPhones.

iOS 27, released Monday, is Apple’s AI-ified update to the software brains inside the iPhone. Some changes are available for models as old as iPhone 11.

And, for parents, there are four core changes.

  • Screen Time has a redesigned parental dashboard that lets parents adjust a child’s access in the moment.
  • Ask to Browse requires kids to get permission before visiting a new website in Safari.
  • Time Allowances lets parents set limits for categories of apps, such as social media, games, and entertainment.
  • Apple says Communication Safety can now shield children from graphic or violent material, as well as nudity, in shared images, videos, and live FaceTime calls.

Chris McKenna, the founder and CEO of the digital-safety organization Protect Young Eyes, said the changes could help more parents use controls that have long been difficult to navigate.

“Anything that makes parents’ jobs a little bit easier makes the experience of activating parental controls smoother, more intuitive,” McKenna told Business Insider, “I cheer for these kinds of changes.”

He said Screen Time has historically been an outlier in Apple’s otherwise polished ecosystem, calling it “clunky,” especially for parents.

“It involves more steps than are necessary, and really needed a complete revamp,” he added.

McKenna said the more user-friendly design does not solve all of Apple’s parental-control problems. Existing filters can still allow inappropriate content to slip through, he said, and a child deliberately looking for a workaround may still find one.

“What iOS 27 doesn’t fix are all of the circumventions that a kid with intentionality is still going to be able to find,” McKenna said.

Apple didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider.

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9 of the best outfits and 8 that missed the mark at the 2026 Venice Film Festival

Pamela Anderson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Pamela Anderson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
  • You couldn’t miss the fashion at the Venice International Film Festival.
  • The Clooneys, for example, hit the red carpet in matching formal wear.
  • A few other stars, like Jewel, unfortunately missed the mark.

It was lights, camera, fashion at the Venice International Film Festival.

New films were screened, and the cinema was celebrated at the annual festival. It was held on the island of Venice Lido from September 2 through September 12.

Each day also welcomed new celebrity guests who hit the red carpet in eye-catching fashion. Some looks were great, while others were the opposite.

Here’s a look at the best and worst outfits at the 2026 event.

Jonathan Bailey looked dapper in a tuxedo and scarf.
Jonathan Bailey at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Jonathan Bailey at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The “Wicked” actor wore black trousers with a satin cummerbund, a textured white top with a velvet bow tie, and an oversize blazer draped with a thin scarf.

Each piece of the suit complemented the others, and its loose fit gave the outfit a cool edge. Bailey completed the look with sunglasses.

J Balvin’s outfit looked a little too much like pajamas.
J Balvin at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
J Balvin at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The six-time Latin Grammy winner hit the red carpet in a printed, oversize suit from Emporio Armani.

Though its brown diamond print was regal, its satin material and baggy fit made it look too casual for a red carpet.

Still, he elevated the look with Miu Miu aviator glasses, diamond jewelry, and a massive gold watch.

The Clooneys matched in elegant formal wear.
George Clooney and Amal Clooney at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
George Clooney and Amal Clooney at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The Clooneys are one of the best-dressed couples in Hollywood, so it’s no surprise they arrived at the Venice Film Festival in style.

George Clooney wore a classic tuxedo with a bow tie and textured button-up top, while Amal Clooney sported a custom Tom Ford gown designed by Haider Ackermann.

It was sleeveless, form-fitting, and ruched from top to bottom.

Claire Foy probably should have ditched one accessory.
Claire Foy at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Claire Foy at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

Foy matched the red carpet in a vibrant, satin gown from Bottega Veneta. It was sleeveless with a scoop neckline, a wrapped waist, and a long skirt.

The dress itself could have worked for “The Crown” star, but the leather, full-length gloves she wore distracted from the look.

Madisin Rian shimmered her way down the red carpet.
Madisin Rian at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Madisin Rian at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The model and influencer arrived on the red carpet wearing a sequin-covered gown from Giorgio Armani.

The halter dress was striking with its swirled pattern, shimmering attachments, and its plunging neckline. She perfected the look with silver sandals and statement diamond jewelry.

Jewel’s animal-print dress was a bit confusing.
Jewel at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Jewel at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

Jewel chose an animal-print gown from the Italian designer Genny for the film event.

The form-fitting piece was long and sparkling, with a deep neckline that revealed a ruched mesh halter top. The latter was also adorned with velvet, crystal-encrusted bows.

The piece distracted from what could have been a bold and memorable fashion moment.

Domhnall Gleeson proved that brown is his color.
Domhnall Gleeson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Domhnall Gleeson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

He posed for photographers in a chocolate-brown suit, a matching top, leather dress shoes, and a bow tie.

Not only did the suit’s color perfectly complement his red hair, but it was also well-tailored to him.

Kendall Jenner looked great, but her outfit was missing something.
Kendall Jenner at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Kendall Jenner at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The model donned a vintage Giorgio Armani piece from 1995. The sleeveless design hugged her body but flared at the ankles, which highlighted its ombré tan sequins and shimmering floral design.

Though she looked stunning, the outfit could have benefited from accessories — like fun earrings with an updo, or a flower in her hair.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge had a chic moment in menswear.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

She wore a custom Celine set that comprised long black trousers and a white, cape-style blouse tucked into them. The latter reached the floor in the back and tied into a bow at the neckline.

Waller-Bridge completed the look with her wavy bob hairstyle, dark lipstick, and small sunglasses.

Irina Shayk seemed more ready for a costume party than a red carpet.
Irina Shayk at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Irina Shayk at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The model walked the red carpet wearing a daring dress from Dolce & Gabbana. The skin-tight look was sleeveless with lace-up side cutouts and a skirt that extended past her knees.

The dress was fine on its own, but Shayk’s accessories didn’t suit it. She wore black pumps with opaque thigh-high stockings and a thick diamond choker that concealed her neck.

Phoebe Bridgers could have been mistaken for a princess.
Phoebe Bridgers at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Phoebe Bridgers at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

She wore an Alexander McQueen design that was as glamorous as it was bold. The gray gown had long sleeves, a floor-length skirt with a train, and floral lace accents.

It was also entirely see-through, revealing that the musician wore no top or bra underneath it.

Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz should have coordinated better.
Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz Beckham pose on a red carpet before photographers, with Peltz Beckham in a purple gown.
Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

While Beckham wore a standard tuxedo and bow tie for the film festival, his wife opted for a more daring look.

The actor wore a purple Balenciaga gown that wrapped around her torso, creating waist cutouts and a hood. It also had a full skirt.

Unfortunately, the two outfits didn’t work together. It would have been nice to see Beckham step out of his comfort zone to wear something more eye-catching.

Pamela Anderson was as bright as sunshine in a yellow gown.
Pamela Anderson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Pamela Anderson at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

Her Carolina Herrera dress was strapless with off-the-shoulder balloon sleeves and a long train.

She wore it with white pumps, a Pandora lab-grown diamond necklace, and her signature no-makeup glam.

Saoirse Ronan’s gown was too plain.
Saoirse Ronan at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Saoirse Ronan at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The actor attended a film screening in a custom Louis Vuitton gown. The navy-colored piece had long sleeves, a floor-length skirt, and a zipper with a statement pull tab that featured the brand’s monogram.

Unfortunately, the dress was too simple to be memorable — especially when worn without any accessories.

Maggie Gyllenhaal took a fashion risk, and it worked for her.
Maggie Gyllenhaal at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.
Maggie Gyllenhaal at the 2026 Venice International Film Festival.

The actor and film festival jury member hit the red carpet in a Prada gown. It had a long black skirt, a matching bodice, and bedazzled, puffed sleeves that looked like they belonged to a button-up blouse.

The outfit was a fun departure from the simpler pieces Gyllenhaal usually wears. She also added a pearl necklace.

Read the original article on Business Insider

I’ve been the CEO of my children’s lives for nearly two decades. It’s time to focus on my own.

The author and her two children.
The author said she has always been heavily involved in her kids’ lives. Now that they’re teens, she’s taking a step back.
  • I gave up my career to become a stay-at-home mom and turned into the CEO of my children’s lives.
  • I chose their schools and extracurriculars, and made sure their lives went smoothly.
  • I recently realized it was probably time to resign as their CEO and just be a mom on the sidelines.

A few weeks ago, my 18-year-old daughter was planning a weekend beach trip with friends.

She’s self-reliant, dependable, and not a partier, so I completely trust her to get the job done in situations like this.

I knew she’d be OK, but I still wanted to step in anyway, searching for the perfect hotel and safe beaches for them to visit. I had a pile of work on my desk, unrelated to my daughter’s trip details, but this wasn’t the sort of thing that would usually stop me from helping.

I’ve been the CEO of their lives

When I gave birth to my daughter in 2007, I ended my writing career and became a full-time stay-at-home mom.

It wasn’t really a decision for me. I knew I’d never be able to put my children in daycare. I wanted to be the one guiding them, after all, I’m the one who could love them best. And I did it.

Then two years after my daughter was born, I had my son. During their toddler and early childhood years, the three of us spent our days baking, crafting, going to the playground, and learning to garden. We went to playgroups and raised goats and chickens. I threw myself into this new identity.

As my children grew, it became clear that I was in charge. I wasn’t just a mom, I had become the CEO of their lives. I went full-tilt boogie during their school years, carefully choosing their charter school, teachers, and extracurriculars.

When my daughter started high school, I shifted to college planning. Even though she was excelling in her hardest AP classes, I tracked her assignments and grades and pointed out whenever she fell below 90%. I liked reminding her that every B on her transcript would be a door closing. When a good friend heard I repeated that phrase to my kids, she said, “Oh, Nicolle, that’s harsh. In our house, we say ‘An A is not the only way.'” I was chagrined, though only a little.

It was time to be in charge of my own life, not theirs

My daughter’s high school years flew by, and before I knew it, she was starting her senior year. When it came time to apply to colleges, I was shocked to find she had been working with a local college counselor she had found on her own. At first, it was unsettling to lose control of such a big decision in her life, and yet, after years of managing so much for her, I was also a little relieved. Still, I wondered to myself how someone else was going to handle this gargantuan task. I couldn’t help weighing in when she showed me her list of schools.

“Didn’t we decide you’d apply to some Ivies?” I asked her.

“We did not decide,” she replied, “I decided that I want to enjoy my life in college, and the thought of attending an Ivy stresses me out.”

I wanted that too for her — all I ever wanted for her was a good, happy life. She was telling me what she needed and that she didn’t need my help finding it. It was a lot to take, but it also became a moment I was proud of.

Something shifted for me

Soon after she submitted her college applications, she started planning that beach trip with her friends. I’d recently begun freelance writing again since both of my kids were now driving and more independent. But, as usual, I couldn’t resist butting in. I instantly set aside my own work to research hotels for her.

But as I opened the Hotels.com app, I paused. She hadn’t asked for my help. My daughter was ready to leave home and take charge of her life, she could likely take care of this without any issues. I closed the app and shifted my focus back to the pile of work on my desk.

I have put my daughter and her brother first for 18 years. And while I’ll never stop caring for and supporting my children, I’m learning that it may finally be time to take charge of my own life and resign as the CEO of theirs.

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