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• I rarely get to connect with my 30-year-old son, so I invited him on a trip with me.
• We planned the trip together and decided to travel to Hawaii.
• While there, we were able to have deeper conversations while still maintaining boundaries.

I live in New York City. My 30-year-old son, Alec, lives across the country in Southern California. When I visit, I respect that he has his own busy, adult life. While I’d like nothing more than to spend every minute with him, I’m proud of his independence and try not to monopolize his time.

Alec has a roommate and no space for an overnight guest. When I’m on his home turf, I stay in a hotel or with a friend.

When he comes to NYC for the holidays, his schedule is packed. Plus, with the entire family under one roof, it can be tough to carve out one-on-one time.

I don’t feel shut out of Alec’s life, but I do miss spending quality time with him, so I floated the idea of a mother-son vacation.

He set a few ground rules before we started planning

Alec was vocal that for our getaway to work, we’d need to approach it as equals. This may sound deceptively simple, but it took lots of self-control on my part.

Little kids and I pair like milk and cookies. I did my graduate studies in early childhood education and taught preschool for years. Parenting young kids is never easy, but it felt instinctive. It grew harder as my children grew older.

Alec is my firstborn, and my parental grip was tightest around him. When he was a teenager, he told me I didn’t understand that teens needed autonomy. At the time, he was correct, but over the years, I’ve worked hard to pacify my bossy instincts.

This time, I would welcome his voice in planning our vacation.

Alec brought up another rule: that part of being equal should include sharing expenses. I gifted Alec his airline ticket using miles, and we split additional expenses.

Choosing a destination

Alec had four days off work over Memorial Day Weekend. I advocated for a location that wasn’t too hot, as I had suffered a bout of heatstroke in Greece last summer. A yoga class nearby would be a bonus.

Alec made a case for Hawaii. He’d never been, but its laidback reputation appealed to him. He said he wanted to destress at a resort and eat poke every day.

Hawaii is special to me. I first visited when I was a kid, spending a summer at my aunt and uncle’s home in Waianae on Oahu. The idea of sharing Hawaii with Alec was exciting.

From a practical point of view, Hawaii made sense. There are numerous nonstop flights from LAX, Alec’s home airport. I was going to be in Denver for work, so I was already heading in a westerly direction.

Each of the Hawaiian Islands has its own flavor. We had lots of options and weren’t quite sure how to narrow them down.

Alec is a fan of the television cooking show “Top Chef.” During his online research, he learned that former contestant Sheldon Simeon was scheduled to be the visiting chef at the Ritz-Carlton O’ahu, Turtle Bay on the island’s North Shore on the Saturday night of our trip.

The Hawaiian-born chef would be preparing a multi-course dinner using island-grown ingredients. I’m all about exploring local culture through food, so it seemed like a jackpot for both of us.

After we booked the dinner, we figured it made sense to stay at the Ritz-Carlton.

Balancing time together and separately was key

Another boundary we set for our vacation was balancing time together with time apart.

Each morning, Alec surfed, and I swam laps in the pool. I signed up for a lei-making workshop while he attended a tennis clinic.

In a perfect world, we would have reserved individual rooms; however, we shared a room for economic reasons.

We were still able to maintain boundaries and give each other privacy as our room had a comfortable ocean-view patio, perfect for reading and relaxing.

Meaningful conversations are what stand out

Time together sparked the meaningful conversations and connection I had longed for.

On May 24, I mentioned that it was my beloved dad’s heavenly birthday. Alec shared tender memories of his grandpa and told me that my dad had been a father figure for him, too, teaching him lessons that continue to impact his life. It made me teary.

We also had an intelligent discussion on income inequality. Alec overheard a group of vacationing doctors and a group of vacationing teachers chatting in the Jacuzzi. He said the doctors worked very long hours without complaint, while the teachers complained nonstop about their overwhelming workload. This led to a conversation between Alec and me about teachers being underpaid and undervalued.

As a former teacher, I found that my son’s thinking about socio-economic issues that hit so close to home really resonated with me.

Our mother-son vacation brought us closer

Our mother-son vacation was a success. Alec ate plenty of poke. I got to practice yoga. Together, we swam in the Pacific, walked trails surrounded by gardenias, and enjoyed a delectable Hawaiian dinner.

As much as I loved our activities, it’s the memories of our personal and poignant conversations that are etched in my heart.

I can’t wait to travel with Alec again.

• I’m raising young children while helping care for my father with Alzheimer’s.
• My children are gaining independence as my father loses his.
• The experience has reshaped how I think about grief, memory, and family relationships.

In December 2018, my mom sent a group text to hop on a call. She was holding the results of my dad’s test. He has asked my mom to deliver the news.

My dad, who spent his entire life showing up for other people, couldn’t bring himself to deliver the news to his kids. His cognitive test came to 17 out of 30.

By November 2019, the results were official. I was living in Brooklyn, eight months pregnant with my first baby, standing in my kitchen with my husband making dinner, when we got the call. My dad had Alzheimer’s.

He was 66 when he was diagnosed

My dad was a quiet man. Deeply humble. A highly respected otolaryngologist who built a free clinic for people without health insurance, traveled to Guatemala to build an orphanage and provide medical care for remote villages, and volunteered at the local homeless shelter. He did it all without fanfare.

He kept his emotions to himself, but he read and wrote constantly. Journals, notes, and margins filled with his thoughts. Writing was his private place to process the world. And exercise was his outlet for mental health. He had a place for everything. Told us we’d never lose something if we always put it back. I hear his voice every time I repeat it as I’m cleaning up with my kids.

He was healthy. And only six years into his early retirement, at age 66, he faced Alzheimer’s.

My dad did so many great things quietly. And it wasn’t until I sat down at his desk that I realized how much more there was about him I didn’t know.

My dad is losing himself

Last Thanksgiving, we went back to my childhood home to clean it out before the sale. I asked my dad if he wanted to go through his desk together. He looked at a few papers and quietly walked away. So I sat down on the floor next to it.

A big white desk, neat the way he always kept everything. A corkboard covered in cards, phrases, and sayings. Trinkets from his hospital office. A whole life, carefully arranged.

I started opening folders. Each one had a very specific title: quotes, book ideas, Bible study, purpose of life, patient thank-yous. I read everything he wrote, underlined, circled, scribbled in the margins. I had become his memory holder, discovering him in a way I couldn’t get from our conversations anymore. And there was so much more I wanted to learn about him.

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I was pregnant with my first child. Now I’m pregnant again with my third, raising two kids who are discovering themselves, while caring for a dad who is losing himself.

I am parenting in both directions

At dinner, I’m cutting up food for my 3-year-old, reminding him to sit and eat. Then turning to do the same for my dad.

I’m signing my kids up for school and setting up care for my dad.

Making sure everyone is safe, fed, and not left alone. Witnessing development and decline simultaneously. I feel like I need to be in two places at once, because sometimes life actually depends on it.

My dad no longer creates interactions naturally. So I curate them. I put toys on the table. I place Beckett next to Papa with a book. I cling to the five minutes they have together before someone loses interest.

When my dad colors with my 6-year-old, my mind flashes between the respected surgeon he was and the man struggling to stay within the lines. Violet looks up and asks why Papa colors like that. I tell her that’s how creativity looks; everyone does it differently. Protecting my dad from shame and interpreting for my daughter.

My kids see his quirks as cute and funny, and I try to see them that way too. But when we are alone, they ask harder questions. Will you get old like Papa? Why does Papa put his knife in his water? I’ve become the translator of confusing behavior.

I’m stuck between beginnings and endings

Last summer at my childhood lake house, my parents could only stay a short while. When it was time to leave, our whole family stood in the driveway. We watched their car pull away. Just as my kids are starting to make memories there, I don’t think my dad will ever come back. And as chapters are opening in my life, I am constantly closing others in his. Stretched between beginnings and endings.

Most days, I wear a facade, mourning privately while performing stability publicly. I don’t want my dad to see me always sad. I want my kids to feel the joy of being together. So I hold it.

But one night after my parents left our house, I was putting the kids to bed, crying. Violet asked me why. I told her I was sad about Papa.

She looked at me and said, “Mom, let me tell you something. You have a heart, and Papa is going to look in there.”

I hugged her a little tighter and whispered, “You’re right.”

My dad used to say relationships are everything. I’m making sure my kids know it too.

• I had worked for the same company for 12 years, but wasn’t happy.
• I decided to give myself one year and a reasonable budget to take a chance on a new career.
• Today, I can say I successfully launched a new career in the travel industry.

At 38, I gave myself one year and £15,000 (nearly $20,000 USD at the time) to completely change my life. I told myself that if it didn’t work, I’d go back to the life I had spent so long trying to leave.

At the time, I was a VP of Sales for a global wholesale business. I had spent the last 12 painstaking years working my way up the ladder, giving up evenings and weekends to pursue the next promotion. On paper, it looked like I was succeeding, but in reality, every rung broke my spirit a little more.

At the same time, my marriage was ending, and everything that once felt stable suddenly didn’t. For the first time in years, I felt lost. I was at a crossroads of what I thought I should do and what I wanted to do.

I gave myself a deadline and a financial limit

When my house sold, I made a decision that felt both freeing and terrifying in equal measures. Instead of putting that money toward long-term security, I used part of it to “get my business going,” which, if I’m being honest, turned into a travel fund.

I set myself a boundary: £15,000 (nearly $20,000 USD at the time) and 1 year. If my travel blog couldn’t sustain me before the money ran out, I would return to the rat race.

At that point, my blog was only bringing in around £50 (around $68 USD) on a good month. Not nearly enough to support me. I remember refreshing my earnings dashboard, knowing the number wouldn’t change. It wasn’t a business. It was an idea.

The deadline may have given me focus, but it also put pressure on me.

As the money ran out, I prepared to walk away

At first, everything felt exciting. I was traveling across Africa, building something that felt more aligned with who I was, but I was still only creating free content. Excitement and free safari exchanges don’t pay the bills.

As the months passed, the gap between what I was building and what actually worked grew harder to ignore. The blog wasn’t generating meaningful income, and the money I had set aside was steadily disappearing.

To make matters worse, my blog, which had slowly been gaining traction, crashed quite exceptionally two months before my year was up. Everything I had dreamed of suddenly felt impossible.

I found myself scrolling job listings late at night, saving roles I didn’t even want, just to prove to myself that I had a backup plan. Some were jobs I would have been proud of a year or so earlier. Now, they just felt like part of a life I was trying to leave behind.

Things started working when I was about to quit

I seriously considered giving up. I told myself that “at least I had tried.” I wasn’t ready to throw it all away just yet, though. I just needed a different plan. And so with the last remaining balance from the money I set aside, I invested in a new website.

That money could have allowed me to extend my arbitrary boundary of a year by a few extra months. But instead, I decided to go all in and give my business the leg up it needed if I genuinely wanted people to take me seriously.

The results weren’t instant, but things did start to shift gradually. Work I had put in months earlier started to gain traction. My content began reaching the right people, and doors I had never even imagined started to open.

My first breakthrough came in June 2025 when I landed my first paid brand collaboration. It wasn’t life-changing money, but it proved there was a market for what I was creating. A few months later, my Tanzania group tour sold out, and as my website traffic climbed, my affiliate income became meaningful rather than occasional.

It didn’t feel like success. But it sure did feel like relief.

Over time, that momentum became something sustainable. What started as a blog evolved into a mix of content, tours, and consulting work within the travel industry.

My idea of security has changed

Some may think I was reckless. Sure, I used money that could have gone toward long-term stability without any guarantee it would work. But what I’ve realized is that the version of security I had before didn’t actually feel secure. It was predictable, but it wasn’t fulfilling.

Giving myself a defined window and a financial limit forced me to commit fully in a way I never had before.

Sometimes, the bigger risk isn’t walking away. It’s staying somewhere that no longer fits.

• A few years ago, my family took a wonderful beach vacation to Florida.
• Accommodations, food, and attractions add up quickly for a family of 6, and we spent so much money.
• These days, we opt to stay closer to home and take budget-friendly day trips instead.

Three years ago was the last time my family of six went on a traditional family vacation.

It was a trip to Miramar Beach, Florida, and we made some really lovely memories together. I still remember eating seafood and ice cream, playing putt-putt, and spending our days playing in the ocean. Our accommodation was perfect for our family: close to the beach and easy to swing in for bathroom and snack breaks. We took loads of photos, and we returned home tan from the Florida sun.

Then, it was back to the grind, but with what felt like next-to-nothing in my bank account. This is when we realized we could either go into significant debt to take a yearly or even every-other-year family vacation, or we could choose to stop vacationing far from home. Now, we prioritize day trips.

Vacationing has become too expensive

The cost of that trip to Florida, even with free flights after years of saving up airline points, was astronomical to us.

For starters, my family wants comfortable accommodations, especially while we’re vacationing. For us, that means enough bedrooms and bathrooms. Nobody wants to spend their vacation almost on top of each other. For us, a rental home works best.

We also need a rental vehicle that not only seats all of us, but also holds all our luggage, too. That’s a tall order.

Then there’s the food. Even though we chose to eat most of our meals and snacks in our rental home, the food costs quickly added up. Two of my kids were teens who can eat adult portions. When we ate out, even without ordering appetizers, drinks (besides water), or desserts, every meal was over $100, and usually closer to $150.

Staying local gives us a new appreciation for where we live

We live near St. Louis, where there are plenty of museums, restaurants, sports events, and entertainment venues. Instead of blowing thousands of dollars on a week at Miramar, we schedule multiple/a few mini day-trips for our crew throughout the year/summer

Whether we are trying a new restaurant (especially for brunch, which is the kids’ favorite) or strolling through an art museum or the zoo (both of which are free in St. Louis), our family can experience memorable, cultural, and culinary expenses close-to-home.

It’s also easy to take local attractions for granted. When you live close to a major city, you simply forget that there are incredible opportunities for family fun right in your backyard.

St. Louis is known for The Hill, an area laden with Italian restaurants. The Botanical Garden is in the heart of an eclectic area of the city with loads of coffee shops and niche, small restaurants. Of course, there’s the Arch, Cardinals and Blues games, the National Museum of Transportation, The Magic House children’s museum, and so much more.

A day trip is a lot easier to coordinate

Planning any trip is stressful and time-consuming, but those concerns are much less when we’re just going within a few hours of where we live.

There’s no packing, airplane rides, rental cars, special gear, or dog sitters to coordinate. And anything that can limit the stress in our lives is something I’m game for.

Sometimes we stay overnight, but not for long

When we do crave a few days away, we’ve opted to keep it low-key. Once, we rented a charming St. Louis storefront that had been renovated into a giant living space, complete with a ballroom (yes, a ballroom), for just a few hundred dollars for three days. While there, we visited local bookstores, enjoyed tacos, browsed the infamous graffiti walls, and went to The City Museum—a mecca of chaos and curiosity for kids of all ages.

We’re sticking to the plan for now

Yes, our kids sometimes complain when they know friends are going on “big” vacations. However, we balance the craving for travel with multiple, short day trips. Some of our kids also get to travel with their extracurricular sports, letting them have their own trips without carting the entire family along.

I’m not saying we’ll never take a big vacation to a beach or another state again, but for now, this plan works for us and our budget.

• As someone born and raised here, I’ve traveled all over Scotland.
• I always tell first-time visitors to pack a waterproof, windproof coat, plus comfortable shoes.
• Physical cash is important, too — generally, both Scottish and English bills are accepted here.

Figuring out the best things to pack for Scotland can be a little bit tricky for a couple of reasons.

To start with, it’s not one-size-fits-all: A trip to a city like Edinburgh or Glasgow will be a completely different experience from one to the rugged mountains and glens of the Highlands. Plus, it’s not uncommon to experience all four seasons in just one day (or even in one hour!).

I was born and raised in Scotland and have traveled the country extensively, so I know exactly which items visitors should pack for different destinations and ever-changing weather.

Here are my recommendations for what to bring on a trip across the country — from physical cash to bug spray.

A waterproof, windproof coat is a necessity.

Scotland’s landscapes are so lush in large part thanks to the year-round rain, but it’s important to choose your coat wisely so that you can enjoy the beautiful scenery without getting soggy.

Scotland can also be windy — particularly on the coast and in the mountains — so rather than bringing a thin waterproof shell, it’s best to opt for a coat that also functions as a windbreaker.

In colder weather, my go-to waterproof coat is one with padded insulation. If the weather forecast looks particularly wet, I’d also suggest bringing a pair of waterproof pants.

During warmer seasons, I usually opt for a lighter waterproof coat, which features a thin lining to help block the wind.

You should prioritize durable shoes — even in cities.

Sandals and heels might be a decent footwear choice for a lot of cities, but in Edinburgh, you’ll want something a bit sturdier.

Edinburgh’s Old Town is partly paved with cobblestones, and there are hills and staircases across the whole city — all of which warrant a durable walking shoe.

If you’re stepping into nature, worn-in hiking shoes or boots are essential. Scotland’s peaks, glens, and lochs look gorgeous, but paths are often fairly rugged even in the most popular places — such as Loch Ness and Arthur’s Seat.

The frequent rain also means that trails can get muddy quickly, so walking boots are your best bet for staying dry, safe, and comfortable.

It’s best to have some physical money on you at all times.

The vast majority of places in Scotland accept credit cards and contactless payments, but if you’re exploring somewhere that’s a bit more remote — such as small towns in the Highlands and Islands — then you can’t always rely on it.

It’s best to have a little bit of physical money on you in case you come across a cash-only shop or restaurant, and there isn’t a cash machine nearby (some smaller villages don’t have one).

Both Scottish and English banknotes, or bills, are generally accepted here.

I always recommend bringing a reusable water bottle.

Scottish tap water is not only completely safe to drink, but also absolutely delicious.

I recommend skipping bottled water and bringing a reusable bottle instead. There are even free “Top Up Taps” throughout the country, making it easy to refill your bottle whenever you need.

You likely won’t regret packing a warm hat.

Autumn and winter are the coldest seasons in Scotland, but temperatures can stay surprisingly low well into spring. Even in the warmer months, the wind can sometimes be biting up in the Highlands and down by the sea.

Unless the forecast is very hot for your entire trip, I’d suggest bringing a warm beanie hat. If you’re traveling during the winter, I’d also add a scarf and gloves to your packing list, too.

Sunglasses might not seem essential, but Scotland can get gloriously sunny sometimes.

Even though Scotland is famously rainy, the weather is very changeable, and the sun actually comes out fairly often.

To avoid being unprepared on a sunny day, make sure you’ve got sunglasses and sunscreen at the ready. (Even if the weather does turn out to be overcast for your entire trip, at least sunglasses don’t take up much suitcase space!)

If you’re going to spend time in nature in the summer, pack bug spray.

Midges can be a nuisance in certain parts of Scotland in summer. The tiny flies aren’t dangerous, but their bites are very itchy. They can usually be found around lochs and in forests, and they’re most active at dawn and dusk.

Thankfully, there are a couple of ways to keep midges away: long sleeves and bug spray. One of my favorite repellents is Smidge, a powerful spray that was developed here in Scotland.

• Ubisoft Entertainment cofounder Claude Guillemot has died at 69.
• French authorities said Guillemot was involved in a fatal plane crash.
• Ubisoft is behind popular video game franchises like “Assassin’s Creed” and “Just Dance.”

A cofounder of the video game giant Ubisoft, the publisher behind “Assassin’s Creed” and “Just Dance,” has died at 69.

A Ubisoft Entertainment spokesperson told Bloomberg in a statement that Claude Guillemot died in a plane accident.

“Ubisoft was deeply saddened to learn of the death of Claude Guillemot, cofounder of the group and chairman of Guillemot Corp., in an accident,” the statement said. “Our thoughts are with his family and loved ones during this difficult time. No further statements will be made at this time.”

French media reported that a Cessna plane carrying Guillemot and another passenger crashed in a field on Friday evening, ahead of its intended destination in western France.

Guillemot cofounded Ubisoft alongside his four brothers in 1986 to create and sell video games worldwide. In addition to “Assassin’s Creed” and “Just Dance,” Ubisoft is also behind “Rayman,” “Star Wars: Outlaw,” “Rainbow Six Siege,” and “Far Cry.”

The company, now led by CEO Yves Guillemot, one of the founding brothers, became one of the biggest video game publishers over the last four decades and continues to expand. Ubisoft has recently also leaned into TV, film, books, music, and in-real-life experiences with VR systems.