I’m in over $100,000 in student loan debt, but I’m not using my degrees. I now often wonder if college was worth it.

• I always thought college was worth the money, but now I’m in $100,000 of student loan debt.
• I live under the crushing weight of student loan debt, and it’s a constant source of stress.
• Although I question if college was worth it, I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.

When I was growing up, my mom told me that education is never wasted. I was fortunate to grow up in a household where college was on the table.

Having graduated from high school one year early, I started my associate degree shortly after my 17th birthday. For two years, I studied zoo technology. Upon graduating, I decided to transfer to a four-year school to pursue my bachelor’s degree. I went on to study biology and chemistry, but after one semester, I changed majors to exercise science and minored in wilderness education.

Changing majors and minors required me to take on additional credits to meet the requirements of my new degree track. Another three years went by, and I graduated with my B.S.

I enjoyed school — learning had always felt exciting. So, I decided to pursue a master’s degree. Two semesters later, the weight of my student loans began to creep up on me. Payments would soon be approaching, and I couldn’t focus on anything but the amount of money I would have to fork over.

I was getting myself into a hole I knew I would never be able to climb out of. I withdrew from the program a few weeks later in an effort to avoid taking out additional loans.

Crippling student debt now haunts me

I was just a kid when I started taking out student loans. I was eager to leave high school and begin my college journey, as most teenagers are. I knew I’d have debt to pay off down the road, but I wasn’t expecting my debt to be so extreme at such a young age,

The majority of my debt is owed to a private student loan company with astronomical interest rates. Now, I’m left with overwhelming monthly payments and two degrees that I’m not using. I’m a writer; I haven’t stepped inside a zoo in years, and I never did use my exercise science degree.

My initial quote for a monthly student loan bill was roughly $1,570. Several tearful phone calls later, and after falling behind on payments, my loan company was willing to shave $1,000 off my monthly payments. This is only a temporary solution, however; the amount due will spike back up.

In private loans, I owe just over $107,000. Income-driven repayment plans are not available through my issuer, and refinancing is not an option for many. There is little help out there for those going through private companies. By the time you realize you’re in trouble, it’s too late.

Was college worth it?

I think back to what my mom told me about education never being wasted, and I do stand by that statement. Had I not gone to college, I am certain I would not have found a career in writing. My path to becoming a writer has been anything but traditional, but attending college allowed me to experience a variety of career paths and find where I truly belong.

I will forever be haunted by student debt, and it’s a very real possibility that I will never live my adult life debt-free. That pains me.

Every time I go to make a payment, I question my decision to go to college in the first place. I’ve always been frugal due to severe anxiety about money, even in high school, but now it’s exacerbated.

I’m teaching myself how to live a fulfilling life even with debt following me everywhere I go. Happiness and debt do not go hand in hand, but the only way out is through.

If I could go back in time and do it all over again, I’d still choose to attend college, but with micro-adjustments. This was a part of my journey to becoming a writer, and if I were to change anything about my path, I suspect I wouldn’t be doing what I do today.