I learned Gen Z slang to connect with my kids. They still cringe when I use it.

• I started using my teens’ slang to better understand them.
• Words like “rizz,” “mid,” and “slay” entered my vocabulary.
• Sometimes it connects us — sometimes they cringe.

I remember how mystified the grandparents who raised me were when I hit high school and the word “like” permeated at least half of the words in any given sentence that popped out of my teenage mouth. They wanted nothing more than to ignore each misplaced like, not understanding how it fit into my own generation’s slang.

As a parent, I now understand their side of things.

So, I started listening to the slang my kids used, hoping to better understand my teenagers.

I knew how important having a connection was with my kids

Watching my kids transition from childhood to adulthood is hard. Teens create their own words to connect with each other and the world around them. After already raising two teens, I knew how important connection was. Slang was just one of the ways I could bridge the age and generational gap to get closer to my kids.

What I never expected was for the words to be so user-friendly and fun. The words just hit right. Mid meant so-so, and made sense. It’s easy to say and rolls off the tongue. Some things didn’t hit, like chungus — which, I’m still not sure how to spell. The phrase is viral and comes from TikTok, which is this generation’s way of finding what to say, how to say it, and, most importantly, when to use it. Many of the latest “in” words come from the popular social media app.

Slay, Rizz, Cap/No Cap, Vibe, Ate, Lowkey/Highkey, Fire, and Lit are just a few slang terms I hear on the daily. They greet me in the morning as my kids rush to get ready for school and creep into chats on the way to hockey and cheer practice. Whether someone drops a lowkey or a highkey, I finally understand the difference. Some slang terms have a longer shelf life and stick around, like “mid.” Others fade into oblivion, like “bussin,” or the more annoying, “bussin, bussin.”

I noticed they were using slang to remember schoolwork

On a recent drive to school, my daughter was studying for a test on ancient Egypt. She used slang to remember the antiquated information and add a modern twist. “That is so much more understandable for kids your age,” I said. It was a funny and interesting way to process and retain the information. I even suggested she start a podcast to help other kids study difficult content.

I also took a nostalgic trip to my own high school days. I remembered doing the same when I was in high school. A friend and I used slang (and a popular television theme song) from the 90s (my own generation) to remember the definition of the chemical family. That car ride made me realize that slang isn’t just a sign of the times; it also encapsulates memories and gives more relevant, useful meaning to complex subjects (such as history and science) for the generation using it.

Even my young adult children don’t use the slang their older siblings do. They have noticed a change since they were kids. It’s interesting to see them react to their teen brother and sister using words from their own generation. It seems that at 19 and 21, they have outgrown the need for such shorthand speak.

Whether “in” or relegated to the back of teenage consciousness, these words and their meanings will all be part of my kids’ teen years, and they remind me of the slang I grew up with. As a writer and lover of words, I’ve realized how cool generational slang is. Not only does it help define each generation, allowing them to create their own unique vocabulary, but it also allows those willing to listen to discover a new and interesting way to communicate.

According to Grammarly, “Slang is informal language that can be regional or develop from communities and subcultures. It can take the form of a single word or a phrase.” It is a sort of shorthand that creates connections between a group. Of course, that connection sometimes remains best left between the generation that coined the terms, as my son recently reminded me. “Mom, please don’t ever say that again,” my 13-year-old begged when I dropped some random slang term into a conversation.

It can also create a disconnect with people my own age, especially those without teens at home. At a meeting with some colleagues, when I referred to something as fire, it may have drawn some confused stares. While not everyone appreciates my efforts, I really enjoy using some of these new words I’ve learned from my kids. They’ve become an interesting new addition to my own vocabulary.

Sometimes, they work, and lowkey, I’m enjoying getting to speak with my kids in a new and fun way.